Positive Attitudes

One thing that drives me nuts about myself is my propensity for pessimism. I struggle daily with keeping a positive attitude regardless of my present situation. I swear I think I'd still be pessimistic even if I'd just won the lottery!

So how do I combat this overwhelming feeling? It's a struggle every day. Some days are better than others. On days when I can, I try to enjoy my family, accomplish specific goals be it around the house, submitting employment applications, completing a research project or whatever.

The next few weeks will be filled mostly with rewriting the code for a website. So I'll be pretty busy and have a much more positive outlook!

When Does It End...

I'm writing this on Monday, July 26th. Today we said goodbye to our Internet connection as well as cable TV. Searching for a job and sending out resumes is impossible without an Internet connection. What that means is I'll be driving down to the public library 3-5 times a week to use their wifi connection. (In fact, this post will be posted on my first visit tomorrow!)

Being unemployed is becoming overwhelming. I haven't been unemployed with nothing lined up in 15+ years. I'm not really sure how to cope with it and keep a positive attitude anymore. Hopefully something happens soon and can get this resolved ASAP.

A Sad Day in History

Image courtesy of NASA

Having watched what some have thought to be routine launches and landings of our space shuttles for 30 years, today is a very sad day for me. At 5:57am EDT Atlantis touched down, marking the end of the space shuttle program. I don't want to be mellowdramatic here, but I'm at a loss for words. (Some of those I live with might find this to be a positive thing!) I've been following the space shuttle program since Columbia first took to the skies on April 12, 1981. I'm going to miss the anticipation of the next launch. And this on the anniversary of our first moon walk! I'm going to miss geeking out by following the missions on NASA's own NASA-TV, which provided me with much more coverage and detail than our news channels ever did. Oh the hours I'd spend with NASA-TV tuned in, boring my family out of their minds, just to see the crews be strapped in and the shuttle's hatch being closed. Yes, I was that bad. Admittedly, I was probably too geeky when it came to our shuttle program but, personally, today is a sad day for me.

EPIC FAIL

I guess I'm to blame as much as the other party. I shouldn't have trusted someone I have never met. But after almost three weeks of promises that "You have the job if I want it", I was told yesterday that IF he does create a spot he will consider me but he now wants to find someone with experience! WOW! So I'm now in full job hunting mode. I should have been as soon as I recovered enough to work. Oh well. Lesson learned ... AGAIN!

Do Tough Times Ever Cease?

I hate to start posting negative stuff to my brand new blog but I'm not going to beat around the bush here. I have never felt worse or had a more negative outlook on my life than I do right now. My situation continues to worsen every day. Each day I keep telling myself it can only get better from here and then something happens or we get something in the mail that proves me wrong.

I love my wife and my kids very much, however, this situation has convinced me I am not worthy of being apart of their lives. I am blessed that they are still here, however, I don't know how much longer that will last.

I'm now wondering if there really is a god and, if so, where is he when he is needed most? We have serious emotional and tangible needs and things are fixing to get so much worse if they aren't addressed soon. I am now at a point beyond what I can bare and am on the verge of, well, who knows.

GOD HELP ME!!!