OK, I'm ready to discuss religion. I've purposely been avoiding this topic simply because I wasn't ready to talk about it. I've been avoiding church and my faith for a long time. I have been very discouraged about life and God for well over a year. And this year's events, which I won't discuss here, haven't helped.
I am an inactive member of Decatur Presbyterian Church (PCA) in Decatur, Alabama. I still consider myself a reformed Christian despite my non-attendance for the better part of two years. But I'm not ready to return. I need to know why a loving God would put me and my family through the struggles we have gone through and are currently facing. No one has answered that to my satisfaction.
Oh, I've heard all the typical, unhelpful lines like 'God won't give you more than you can bare' and 'sometimes our struggles are for the benefit of others'. Horse shit! That is not a loving God, IMHO. I've heard these lines so often that when I start hearing the oh-so-familiar lines, I instantly cut the person off and tell them not to waste their time.
So when will I return to church? Maybe someday. Maybe never. I've grown tired of the struggles and am not finding answers where I once did.
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